Michael Seguin

My Digital Me

Telecommuting Fail

July 18, 2013 by dm_admin_ms

Happiness is not a goal, productivity is the goal

I know Yahoo’s stock is turning around, and I am sure that Marissa Meyers crusade to turn the company into a clone of Google is in part to thank (though to be honest the value of its decade old investment in about-to-go-public Alibaba.com is mostly responsible)… but I just cannot help but poke fun at the telecommute fracas they had recently. So here is a brief parody of how I would feel if I was working there.

Yahoo CEO: No more telecommuting, period.

Yahoo employee: But – I was hired with the understanding that I can work remotely!

Yahoo CEO: Is that written in an employment contract? No? Sucks for you.

Yahoo employee: But – all the studies ever conducted on the subject show that employees who can work remotely are both happier AND more productive.

Yahoo CEO: Individually perhaps… but collectively we are all happier when no one individual is happy.

Yahoo employee: But – my commute steals 2+ hours from my day. If I can telecommute, I work a much longer day. And I am happier, so I work harder.

Yahoo CEO: Happiness is not a goal, productivity is the goal.

Yahoo employee: But again, I am more productive when I am happy. I am more happy when I don’t have to commute.

Yahoo CEO: we feel that if we can all work together to eliminate happiness as a goal, that all employees will have similar levels of productivity.

Filed Under: Funny

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